worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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