The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize