i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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