Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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