Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
