Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
