mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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