she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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