Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
