Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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