Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
