She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
