He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
