Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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