I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
