I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think I won the penis lottery.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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