we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
