I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
the liver wants what the liver wants
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
