So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
