I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
