Sponge bath it is.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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