Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
