Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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