Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
