I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
