i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize