what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I can't turn off my feet"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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