then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
