bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You pole danced in your parka.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
