just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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