last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You can't just leave with hair like that
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
