whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
