Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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