uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
