I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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