btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
