Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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