I just pynch a tree in the face
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
