How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
A bitchslap is in order.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
