I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize