It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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