We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
