planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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