Sry I called you an 8
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
