I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
