OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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