Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Terrible idea I love it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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