I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
