:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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