WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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