It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
