Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
