i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
