I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
