is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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