i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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