I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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