there's paper in my vomit.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
