My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize