Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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