Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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