Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
