Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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