You're so nebulous sometimes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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