clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Actions speak louder than pants.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
