Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
