Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
