when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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